Believe it or not, men aren’t mythical creatures hellbent on doing everything they can to stop a woman from talking to them. While there are some dishonest men in the world, for the most part, they’re all generally well put together individuals that would love to have a conversation with you. Below are some tips you can follow to get an idea of what men are thinking when you’re having a conversation with them and what you can do differently to better your chances for a date.
1. First off, you’re going to have to realize a very difficult fact. Men are just as scared to talk to you as you are to talk to them. For some reason, society has made it very difficult for strangers to talk to one another in public. So, starting conversation with a complete stranger, perhaps one you find attractive, has become almost impossible. If you remember though, that the man sitting next to you on the bus or at the table adjacent to you at a restaurant is just the same as you, wanting conversation, you’ll be better off. Just think, if you were out in public and a man came up to you and asked you a general question, would you shun him away? No, you’d talk to him. The reverse is also true. Men are just as receptive to public conversation as you would be, so get to it.
2. Next thing you’ll have to work on is your confidence when talking to men. Most people don’t know where to begin a conversation when they approach a stranger, and thus their confidence is shot into the ground when the stranger acts hesitantly to the question or statement made. So, if you have a good opener, things should be smooth from there. Try practicing finding men in your college classes or at your place of employment, maybe a customer, and saying casual things like “Not going to lie, but that’s a really cool (insert article of clothing here). Where’d you get it?” Or, if you’re not in a situation like that, commenting on a recent daily event that you grabbed from a newspaper headline can also open the conversation door.
3. There are a few things to avoid when you first meet someone. Obviously when you’re first chatting you don’t want to bring up the idea of marriage or any form of committed relationships. While that may be your end goal, and men are aware of this, it’s not polite to ask someone’s relationship status right off the bat. Once you’ve built rapport with them, it may be OK to say something casually like, “So, do you have a girlfriend or anything?” But, only once you’ve gotten past the first stages of talking can you do something like this.
4. If you’re still feeling unsure about yourself, change the way you dress a little bit. Everyone in the world responds to a little sexuality. Obviously, you don’t want to throw your values out the window just to “sell” yourself to a man, but if you find something in a store that you think could make you look sexy, go for it. If you feel good about the way you look, your confidence will ultimately show. And, if you’re looking good and feeling good, you’re all the more likely going to find someone you can meet.
5. Lastly, be yourself. I see women falter with this all the time. They get stuck into a hole of trying to impress a guy they just met and before they know where they are, they’ve made themselves into something completely different. Just like you would expect a guy to be honest about his job and life, you should do the same. This helps avoid problems later on in a relationship as well as things get more serious.
Just remember that guys are the exact same as women and no matter what you may think, they’re just as scared of talking to you as you are to them. Break the ice and meet some new people!