Perhaps you have wondered, as your third girlfriend tells you to take a hike, what exactly does it mean when she (or he for that matter) says “I need more romance in my relationships”? Obviously if you have to ask, you probably need a few tips on what it is and then how to achieve it..unless of course you like going to those wedding receptions alone.
Romance simply is the practice of expressing ones love, caring or passion through a series of acts, presents or mementos. It doesn’t mean you have to get all gooey every time you talk on the phone. And you certainly don’t want your romantic actions to appear fake. For instance, if you are not normally a flowers type giver, one dozen red roses will suffice, two dozen might seem like you’re secretly guilty of something.
First tip toward romance in your relationship: Find out what romance means to your partner. For some, it is a dance in the sand of the beach with the moonlight overhead but for others it’s taking her out to dinner so she doesn’t have to cook..and McDonalds does not count. If you don’t know the types of food she likes-find out!
Be spontaneous: Romance does not have designated days. So it’s expected that your anniversary and your partners birthday might mean a romantic date, but what about coming home (or visiting) and having a little card that says something sweet. Better yet, when you leave, how about leaving a little sticky note on the refrigerator or mirror that says something nice that you actually mean.
Be creative: After the third month in a row of buying roses (on your payday’s no less), it becomes less about romance and more about duty. As soon as it becomes duty, it now enters the “back-fire” zone. This is the place where your gifts actually get you in trouble rather than expressing your love. So try flowers, washing the car while your partner is at work, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, greeting him at the door with sweet music and candles..you get the idea. Change it up.
Poetry works: You might not be a poet but your partner certainly does not care. The act of putting your feelings into a poem, no matter how bad (or good) it is, will be considered romantic and set the tone for just about any partner. Leave that poem under the pillow, on the car windshield or other surprise places and it is even that much more appreciated.
Get away: Just get up and go somewhere for the weekend. Try for scenery. Try for mountains, beaches, lakes or even places with flowers and then try to get a room that faces them. Make it a “no expectation” get-away, so no matter what your partner wants to do, you do it willingly. Yes-even if he wants to play golf (driving golf carts can be fun), or she wants a massage (you can play golf then too!!), let them do it and then cap it off with a dinner or meal that pulls it all together.
Last but not least: It has to come from the heart. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it or do it. If you will show obvious distain for a candlelight dinner-don’t plan one. If you know you can’t sit through that opera-don’t try. But before you write off those things because you “can’t take them”, consider this: Is two hours of operatic music so horrible that the happiness your partner would get is secondary? If the answer is yes, you might want to think about it you are matched up at all.