In order to overcome a thing like jealousy, you have to understand what it is and what it isn’t. There are different levels of jealousy, and not all of them are necessarily bad. Jealousy is a basic human emotion, and the first thing you need to figure out is what type of jealousy you are feeling.
The first of three basic types of jealous feelings is a harmless jealousy. This type of jealousy is almost considered cute because it is little more than a concern for your significant other. It can be anything from their mentioning an attraction to someone they see or meet to expressing concern about them going to someplace like a strip club with friends. Think of this type of jealousy as a window into the mind of your significant other.
The second type of jealousy is more of a healthy jealousy. It is a feeling of protectiveness for your significant other and an expression of that concern. You may have concerns about them going out with friends that include an ex or someone they’ve shown they an attraction. It’s fine to express these concerns so long as you don’t do it in a possessive or paranoid fashion.
This leads us to the third and final of the basic types of jealousy. This is an obsessive or possessive jealousy, and it is unhealthy for any relationship. This jealousy can often lead to a destructive and possibly violent end to a relationship if it goes too far or too long. Aggression and violence are often the end result, and your significant other can’t even look at someone that they might be attracted to without possibly setting you off.
This last form of jealousy is the hardest to overcome unless it is dealt with in the early stages. If you feel yourself getting to the point of feeling a paranoid jealousy, it’s time for some self reflection. That’s right. Looking inside yourself is the only way that you are going to overcome these feelings of jealousy and save your relationship.
You see, jealousy is not really about the emotion itself or what may have brought it on in the first place. More often than not, the jealousy has nothing to do with your significant other except to be the trigger for your feelings.
One of the first things that you should do is find a quiet place where you can be alone and ask yourself some honest questions. Ask yourself why you are feeling threatened, what you are afraid will happen, and what it is that you are afraid of. Answer yourself honestly.
If you give yourself honest answers you should begin to see that it has nothing to do with your significant other. It has everything to do with the emotions inside of you. Jealousy is really nothing more than a symptom of a larger issue in your life. It can be anything from trust issues resulting from past relationships to a lack of self-esteem that makes you afraid that they will cheat on you.
It’s only in facing the larger issues involved and making the decision to change the way you feel that you will be able to overcome the feelings of jealousy in your relationship. The last thing that you should do is try to bury your feelings as though they don’t exist. This is the unhealthiest choice you could make. Think of it as a cancer. If you bury and try to ignore it, it will just fester and eat away at you until it can’t be ignored anymore. Face your fears and overcome them.
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