Relationships are just like any other living things. They have to be nurtured and cared for, or they will not survive. Just as living things need food, water, and air to survive there are ingredients which are vital to the life and health of any relationship. A courtship or marriage which is left on its own and ignored will stagnate and eventually die.
Communication is one key ingredient in a healthy and thriving relationship. Whether it is a budding courtship or a marriage of any duration, failure to communicate will bring on a slow and painful death. So how does a couple keep communications alive in their personal relationship? There are habits which couples can form which will nurture young relationships as well as revitalize mature ones. Some of them may seem like no-brainers to older couples, but may not have even occurred to those just starting out.
In the no-brainer category, there is the habit of talking to each other. This can actually be trickier than it sounds. Talk about your day. Ask about his or her day, and listen when they talk about it. If they know that your eyes will glaze over with boredom the moment they begin to talk, chances are they won’t. This drives another nail in the coffin of your relationship. It is a pretty sure bet that you will fake interest when other people talk to you during the day because you feel you have to, for a variety of reasons. Are you so comfortable with your partner that you don’t feel the need to impress them anymore? That’s another nail. You should be more anxious to impress the ones you love most in the world than you are all those other people who come and go in your life. One more tip about listening is that you should listen in such a way that your partner knows they can say anything to you and you won’t overreact. You should allow them the freedom to be heard, no matter how different from yours their opinion is. If there is disagreement, talk calmly and openly. Take time to breathe, and remember that you will never have to wish you could take something back, if you don’t say it in the first place.
At some point in every relationship there are problems. You will have complaints about your partner. Again, breathe and think before you go out to this person or that person and slander your significant other. You will almost surely regret that you did. If you absolutely must tell someone all about it, go to a professional. They are sworn to confidence and they are the only people alive who are. Your best friend and your mother will absolutely repeat what you have told them to someone else, and then you have lost control of the situation. You can quickly and permanently lose the trust of your partner when they find out that you disrespected them to a third party. It is much less costly in the long run to choke down your complaints until they are not relevant anymore.
When there are young children involved it can be tedious to find time to talk as a couple, but it is imperative to the health of your relationship or marriage. And when you find that time, do not use it all up talking about the children, bills, or other stuff of life. Talk about other things which you both find interesting. If there are no such things, work on cultivating common interests. Remember that when your children grow up and move out, communication as a couple will be more important than ever in your marriage.
Nurturing relationships through communication can be time consuming and is not effortless. However, it does get to be more of a habit as time goes by and you will find that it is life insurance for a relationship.
