Most of us already know what flirting is, but how many know just how much our own body is saying when we flirt or don’t flirt? Just like a normal conversation between friends, much of our communicating is done without words at all. Our body is sending messages to each other in the form of body language. We use these non-verbal cues or signs every day even if we don’t realize it.
Now, there has been a lot written on body language and flirting, and we aren’t going to cover it all here. We’re just going to cover some of the basic and more common ways that we flirt with our body language. Having even just a basic understanding of body language in flirting can be a big advantage, and it can give tell you how well things are really going on a date.
One of the most common and also one of the most misunderstood signs that we give off is the smile. The smile can be everything from an insincere show in order to be nice to a warm and loving smile that seems to light up the room. We all prefer the warm and friendly smile; because it’s a sign of good feelings and that you are fun to be around. It’s relaxing and shows that things are going well or that there is interest there. It can also be a sign of someone just being polite and not really enjoying themselves or your company. None of us really want this in flirting, but how do we spot it? One way is to ask if the smile reaches the eyes. If the person’s eyes don’t soften with the smile, then it is likely that they are just being polite.
Another of the more common ways that body language is used in flirting is in the approach. What this means is how you or they approach your personal space. If the approach is slower and more relaxed, it’s a sign that they are interested and want to get closer to you. On the other hand, if they approach and come into your personal space more quickly, then they are more aggressive. It’s still a sign of interest, but it’s up to you if you pursue things any further.
How a person carries themselves or ‘poses’ can say a lot about their level of interest. How they hold their arms can tell you if they are interested or not with just a glance. If their arms are crossed, it tends to mean that they aren’t welcoming an approach. Crossing your arms is usually a sign of closing yourself off and telling those around you that you would rather they stay away from you. Just the opposite of that, opened or relaxed arms are a general way of saying that an approach will be welcomed. It doesn’t promise anything, but it does say that you aren’t closed to the possibilities of a conversation.
Touching is the last sign that we will cover here. Any time that you initiate physical contact with a touch, it should be light and relaxed at least until you know how the other person is going to receive it. This makes it one of the most difficult ways of showing interest when you are flirting with someone, but it can also be the most revealing. How far you go with touching is entirely up to you.
There are a lot more ways that body language is used in flirting every day. All it takes is some practice understanding these, and you are well on your way.