Not your cup of tea? Try telling the girl of your dreams you really don’t want to go. The latest bang ‘em up, smash ‘em up movie is out, full of action, adventure, blood, guts and gore. How about that one?

When the lips purse, pout or pucker, you have a decision to make. Do you buckle and take in a chick flick or romantic comedy or do you stand your ground? It really depends on how important she is to you whether you should stoop to seeing her movie of choice. Some girls are worth it. Others – well, maybe keeping them pacified has its rewards; maybe not. You decide.

Yes, it’s a badge of honor for a guy to see a chick flick. It’s something to please your girl while gaining sympathy and solidarity from your buddies.

Once you’ve agreed to go to the chick flick in question, the true test begins. Just going is not enough. How you behave before, during and after may make or break the relationship.

Here are a few survival tips to hopefully make the outing a positive experience.

If you must see one, choose a chick flick with really hot actresses in it. Don’t let on that you think they’re hot. If you must say anything at all, refer to them as “talented.” And don’t mention that their talent is beauty or physical fitness.

Enjoy the opportunity to ogle for two or three hours straight at a bunch of women with no questions asked.

Always offer to buy concessions. Popcorn and sodas will give you a way to occupy yourself during the movie when all else fails.

Don’t fall asleep. Grab the Red Bull or the caffeine pills before you go. Don’t let on that you need help staying awake for your torture.

At least pretend like you’re interested. Laugh when she laughs. Look serious when she is.

If she is gripped by the movie and is crying, take this opportunity to hold her hand, but don’t make any other moves during important parts. She will think you’re not paying attention, which will dissolve any brownie points you might have had.

No laughing when she’s crying. A gentle smile; however, will go a long way in the brownie points category.

Try to follow the story line. There might be a quiz later.

Don’t make running commentary like “This is stupid.” Not only does this ruin the moment, you’re likely to get an annoyed “shh” from her or others around you.

Stay in the theater as long as possible during the movie even if you are miserable. You can probably get away with one false restroom break. Choose your timing carefully and quietly apologize when you get up. Don’t stay gone too long.

After the movie, be sure to ask her if she liked it and take interest in her answer. When she asks the same of you, pick out one bearable or not too awful part and say, “I thought the best part was when…” This should not be a scene where someone dies.

Brooding, being extremely quiet or teasing her about the movie on the way home are ways to pick a fight and cause problems. Save that for another day over a more worthy topic.

Really. It’s just a movie.

Some people may need to stick to a strict budget, but still want their sweetie to know that he or she is special. This may be particularly the case for young people in college, or just starting out in life. Others may have the ability to spend more, but don’t really want to waste their hard-earned money on a bouquet of overpriced roses that will be wilted in a few days or at most a week.

Finding “the perfect gift” depends a lot on the giver as well as the recipient. One person may not have the ability necessary to make a certain home-made gift; and another person may not have a need for a knitted contact-case carrier, even if it is hand-made. Matching the right gift to the right person is a necessary skill when giving frugal gifts for Valentine’s Day. It is most helpful if the gift giver is tuned into the needs, desires, and wishes of the recipient. For example, someone who likes to write may enjoy a beautiful, but inexpensive, journal. Another person may appreciate a bottle of up-scale lotion, or some hand-made soap.

Often, it is not the gift itself, but the thoughtfulness of the packaging that draws attention. Anyone can toss over a handful of quarters for a vending machine or tolls and say, “That’s for you, babe.” What sets most gifts apart, however, is the consideration behind it. A note or letter or even a little speech when giving the present will make even a low-cost gift more valuable to the recipient. It can be as simple as saying, “I know that it slows you down to have to look for change for the subway fare all the time, so I got you these tokens to make your day easier and just a little bit brighter.”

For those who are inept in cooking, appropriate yet frugal gifts of food can include thoughtful things that can be purchased from a store, caterer, or restaurant, such as boxes of candy, gift certificates to a favorite restaurant, snack packs of crackers, chips, cookies, or candy that can be taken and eaten at work or at school, or a bag of gourmet coffee or tea. People with more culinary skills can prepare a home-cooked meal, a batch of cookies, a heart-shaped cake, or have a picnic in the park.

Bouquets of roses can be ridiculously expensive, but a single long-stem rose, attractively packaged, with a thoughtful note, can be just as endearing. Many women also have favorite flowers other than roses, so will enjoy a bouquet of daisies, or perhaps tulip bulbs so she can have her own flowers in the spring.

Gifts of time can be quite inexpensive, but very well-received — a coupon for a foot massage, back rub or a romantic dinner for two at home, or volunteering to do some task that the other person dislikes or doesn’t have time for.

Valentine’s Day gifts don’t have to be expensive. In fact, many can be free, taking only the time to write a heart-felt letter, or to do something nice for the one you love. When it comes to gifts, it truly is the thought that counts.

The most important thing to remember on a first date is not to panic. The following guide will help you keep your cool.

1. Be Yourself

If you’re looking to begin a long term relationship, it’s important to be completely honest with your date. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not unless you want to keep it up for the entire duration of the relationship. Pretending to be an actor when you’re really a postman will be a hard lie to uphold as the relationship progresses. Getting caught in a lie is not only embarrassing, but will be a major relationship setback.

If your date doesn’t like the real you during the first date than he or she never will. Forcing someone to like you by lying about yourself just wastes both of your time which could be spent finding someone more compatible.

2. Dress Comfortably

Whether your a girl or a guy, dressing comfortably is imperative on first dates. It’s tempting to pull out a pair of shoes you’ve never worn or a fancy new shirt, but unless you feel completely comfortable in your nicest clothing you’ll come across as stiff or awkward. Additionally, you may end up with an itchy shirt or shoes that rub your feet raw. It’s best to choose clothes for first dates that are familiar and comfortable.

3. Ask Questions

Everyone loves to be listened to. It’s important that you take an active interest in your date. If your date is telling a story, than ask him or her questions during pauses. This will encourage your date to continue talking and help them to see you as a good listener. Both men and women believe listening to be a valuable trait in a companion.

4. Do Something

First dates can get awkward pretty quickly if the only thing planned is sitting inside a fancy restaurant. If you run out of things to say or have difficulty finding common interests, a conversation based date could be disastrous. It’s best to go out and do something. Go rollerblading, take a walk in the park, have a picnic. Anything that gets the two of you moving around and having a good time is an excellent, pressure free choice for a first date.

5. Rid Yourself of Expectations

An easy way to ruin a great first date is by establishing a long list of expectations. Don’t worry too much about specifics on how you think the evening will go. Planning things out too rigidly will only result in unmet expectations. Additionally, it’s important not to expect your date to be the guy or girl of your dreams the moment you meet for your first date. For most couples, chemistry takes a while to develop. It’s important not to give up or view the date as a failure if the two of you don’t gel perfectly on the first try.

The right way to go about it is to keep in touch, but still give her (or him) space. This will show that you trust her, and that you care. But how do you go about finding this fine line between caring individual and psychopath? Follow the steps below to find out.

While e-mails are nice, they don’t show your personality as much as a card. And they certainly don’t show your thoughts as well as a hand-written letter. By sending a card or writing a letter, you’re showing that you took out time to do something for your loved one. This will always be appreciated. And, yes, that’s even if you talk on the phone regularly. Also remember, the best cards and letters are those that come unexpectedly, not the ones that come on birthdays and holidays. After the initial surprise letter, it’s always good to keep them going about once per week.

Another nice surprise is to visit a scenic area near where you live – botanical gardens, a beach, a waterfall – and take pictures. You can send the pictures by mail or computer and let your loved one know that you were thinking about them the whole time, wishing they were there. You can also make a promise that you will visit that location together in the future.

The ultimate surprise, and one that’s a little more difficult to pull-off, is to make a surprise visit. Prior to doing this, make sure her work or family plans won’t interfere. You can find out this information in a casual conversation without giving away your plans. If the timing is right and she’s available to spend time when you show up, she’ll be ecstatic. Not just because you’re there, but because you put in the time, energy, and money to make it happen. It will show how much you care about her. Perhaps you will have to pay $500 for a round-trip ticket or drive eight hours through the night. Whatever the case may be, it will be greatly appreciated.

One of the most important aspects about being in a long-distance relationship that hasn’t been covered yet is to surround yourself with the right people. If you associate yourself with people who cheat, you’re more likely to cheat. If you associate yourself with good people, the odds of maintaining your relationship will greatly improve. The best case scenario is to find someone else who is going through the same thing. You will be able to support each other.

While all the information above is important, keep in mind that if it’s meant to be, everything will work itself out.

Check the Reputation of the Dating Site
For the best experience in safe online dating, always check out the reputation of the dating site before joining. Unfortunately, not all dating sites are going to bring in the best candidates for you to consider a relationship with. While some sites may seem more expensive than what you would like, the fact is, they may actually bring in more high-quality dating prospects for you. This, of course, should play a very important role in keeping yourself safe from harm.

Take Your Time
The main thing to remember with online dating is that you should not rush into meeting anyone. Take your time and build an online relationship with the individual through the dating site. Sending messages back and forth can actually give you the time you need to make a better decision on whether this person is someone you would like to meet or not. If someone seems too anxious or pushy to meet them, you should then back off and start looking through other dating profiles. Anyone who is too pushy may be there for the wrong reasons.

Retain Your Anonymity
When you are getting to know someone on the dating site, do whatever you can to retain your anonymity. In other words, do not give them any clues where you work, who your friends are, or even your real first name. Do not give any information that could be traced to your identity. Until you actually meet them and decide whether or not you would like to build on the relationship, it is crucial to keep who you are anonymous.

Use Safety Precautions When Meeting
When you do make plans to meet someone you have met online, make certain you take safety precautions when planning your meet-up. First, do not meet them until you feel comfortable with the decision. Second, always plan to meet in a safe area. This could be a coffee shop, restaurant, or shopping mall. Never plan to meet someone in a secluded location. Also, tell a close friend exactly where you are going, what time, and who you are supposed to meet. Give them all relevant information and, if possible, have this person accompany you and sit someone close by to help monitor the situation.

Be Prepared
You will also want to prepare yourself for any situation. If you are meeting someone at a local restaurant, be sure that you limit yourself to one drink only. Unfortunately, alcohol will reduce your common sense and if you do sit down and drink too much, it can also give the other person a bad impression of you.

While many people are often scared of Internet dating, the truth is, it can be a very enjoyable experience, as long as you are practicing safe online dating. As long as you are using common sense and you pay attention to your instincts, you should have fun and, hopefully, within a short time, you will meet the one you have been searching for.

The first thing you need to do before tackling this behemoth is to be sure your psyche is ready. Yes, maybe we already covered this, but the idea of being ready to date involves a whole list of things that must be accomplished before the actual dating can begin. Namely, you must do everything in your power to become your best you; you have got to work on your self-esteem. Inevitably, people come away from divorce with some feelings of unworthiness and failure and while they may be justified, these feelings have to be dealt with, never to be revisited. Own up to your mistakes, and then move on with your life. What’s done is done and all you can do is admit your failure to the right people, apologize, and vow to never repeat it. And then you have to do it.

With that out of the way, set out to re-invent yourself. Lose those extra 10 or 20 pounds, buy some new makeup or skin care products and do something with your hair for goodness sakes! Examine your wardrobe and get rid of any dated pieces or things that no longer fit your svelte self, replacing them with new things that are appropriate for your body type while remaining fresh and youthful. Ladies, don’t be tempted to buy sexy or revealing pieces as they will only serve to make you look cheap and desperate. Cleavage is okay, but be reasonable. Remember, if you’re not comfortable with your kids seeing you before you head out for a night on the town, your outfit is probably inappropriate.

Now that you’re looking refreshed and have your head solidly on your shoulders, get out and have some fun! Reconnect with old friends and build up your social circle. The best way to meet a guy worthy of a relationship is through other people; the more people you see on a regular basis, the better your chances of meeting Mr. Right. Now let’s back up a bit and say that you should go into the dating process with the understanding that you’re here to have fun. Yes, the ultimate goal of dating is to find a mate, but if you focus your energy too hard on hearing wedding bells, all you’re going to do is drive men away. Ease in slowly and don’t have too high of expectations about where things are leading. You’re not a teenager anymore and it’s not reasonable to expect your new beau to call you 11 times throughout the day. Remember, you want to be dating decent men with jobs, homes, and a firm grasp on reality and their responsibilities, so don’t expect childish dating behavior and absolutely do not stare at the phone willing it to ring. It never works. When your man does call and you see each other, avoid serious topics for the first few dates and for the love of all that is holy, don’t talk about your ex! Save that for later and you won’t sound like you’re still hurting. If you are still hurting, go back to the section on bettering your mental health and start the process over again.

To recap: dating is hard, but it can be rewarding if you enjoy your time for what it is and don’t worry about what it’s not. It’s a date or a dating relationship and it’s fun and it feels good. But have reasonable expectations and don’t get depressed when things don’t work out. At least you have a memory of this new chapter in your life instead of sitting at home on a Saturday night cleaning the macaroni out of the recycling bin, courtesy of your two year old.

Be Prepared – Proposing might seem more romantic if it seems spontaneous or adventurous, though preparation is key to make sure the proposal goes off without a hitch. Especially in public venues, research should be done to ensure that the targeted place for proposal is not otherwise engaged for public events or routine maintenance. Parks and dining venues usually have rotating schedules of events and activities that could hinder the romantic aspect of a proposal. For instance, it would not be so romantic to propose at a park the day they set aside for spreading of fertilizer and litter removal. Furthermore, restaurants could become disastrous for a proposal on family night or if the best tables are occupied by a banquet or large party.

Be Imaginative – Though there are some tried and true methods of proposing that retain their romantic allure even after repeated use (see: ring in the champagne glass, sky-writing, Empire State Building and Eiffel Tower), the best way to pull off a romantic proposal is to personalize the event. The history of a relationship can be used to pull out emotions during a proposal that feel sentimental and special. Re-enacting the first date, a special event shared together or simply popping the question during a routine movie-night together are all great ways to propose with intimate sentimentality. Most people who become the object of someone’s affection enjoy reliving the steps they took to get to such a special point in their relationship.

Be Flexible – Despite all the planning and preparation imaginable, sometimes there will be unexpected events that pop up in the way of a proposal. Accidents, illnesses, prior engagements or urgent rescheduling can all hinder the perfect romantic proposal. Generally, the best rule is to go with the flow. If the time is right and the person is right, work around any inconvenience and you may generate a more romantic response. Proposals made in a park in the pouring rain might be a charming romantic alternative to rescheduling in hopes of a perfect-weather day.

Above all the rules and tips for a romantic proposal is to maintain a positive attitude. Proposing should be a joyous moment that two people share together in love. The anxiety and stress associated with preparing an intricate proposal shouldn’t outweigh the fun and happiness the moment implies. This is, after all, a commitment to show someone you’re planning on a lifetime with them. It would be a shame to project a lifetime of anxiety and stress.

Make A Reservation
Even if you’re taking your date to Chili’s, call ahead and see if you can get your name on the list. There’s nothing worse than getting to the restaurant of your choice and finding out that it’s booked. Making a reservation also shows your date that she was important enough for you to think ahead. This is a great way to inadvertently show that you’re thoughtful and cultured.

S-S-S
Bodily functions are probably the last thing on your mind during a first date, but they are extremely important. Feeling that uncomfortable pit in your stomach can be a low point during your day. Make sure that you aren’t going to feel that during the date. Showering is almost a no-brainer, but even if you haven’t done anything during the day, you need to shower. Shaving or grooming your facial hair is another must.

Do NOT Pick Her Up Unless She Asks
First dates are a lot like job interviews. Have you ever gone to a job interview and as soon as you walked into the hiring manager’s office you knew that you weren’t getting the job? Multiply that times a hundred and that’s how many first dates have gone the same way for me. Letting her have her car down the road gives the both of you an exit strategy.

Get Directions
Being late is not the best way to start off any relationship, but being late on a first date without a great reason shows her how the rest of the relationship is going to turn out. Get a GPS or print out directions beforehand of where you’re going.

Be Dressed Appropriately
There’s no need to break out the Sunday’s best, but I wouldn’t recommend slapping on that old Grateful Dead shirt you wear to clean the gutters either. A button down shirt tucked in with a nice pair of khakis is easy, comfortable and affordable too. Typically, women stare at the name brands of other women’s clothing, so if you don’t have these lying around run up to Target or Walmart and pick up a new shirt and a new pair of slacks.

Have A Ton Of Questions To Ask
During a typical date, I don’t reveal all of my cards. I like to have the girl speaking about 60% of the time. This can show that you’re caring and that you don’t mind letting her have the spotlight. This also shows that you don’t have to brag or drop shameless plugs about yourself. Asking questions can also give you a better idea of what she’s into for further dates.

Do NOT Under Any Circumstances Talk About An Ex
When I hear a girl bring up an ex on a first date, all I can think is that she’s still into him. 99% of the time I find out that I was right. The same hold to guys. Don’t bad mouth an ex either. This shows that you either settle for the wrong girl or that you have bad taste. Either way, you come off bad.

Pay Or Don’t Pay
There’s a lot of controversy on whether or not to pay on the first date. On one hand, paying shows that you’re financially stable (a key to keeping a woman), but on the other hand, who wants to pay for a date that’s gone to the dogs. In my opinion, there’s no reason you should pay for anything on a first date. At this point the playing field is leave. If she offers to pay for herself then let her. If she expects you to pay, then it can be a lot of fun to tell the waiter “Separate checks, please” and watch her face. If things are going great then by all means pay.

Have An After Dinner Plan In Mind
One thing that I like to do is look for things that are going on around the restaurant or bar the date is taking place at. If the date is going well, why wouldn’t she want to go across the street for a drink and to hear the blues band that’s about to go on?

Make Sure She Gets Home Okay
Assuming the date didn’t wind up back at your place (or her’s for that matter), give her a call to make sure she got home okay. Even if it’s quick, go ahead and thank her for having dinner with you and tell her you had a great time. She’ll see you as thoughtful and different from the norm.

Summary
If you follow these rules, you’ll find your dates turning from first dates to second, third and fourth ones very quickly. Giving yourself the best appearance and personality is sure to bring you luck.

One of the best things about dating for the over 40 crowd is that you don’t have to go through all that confusion that the teens and early twenties go through. By the time you are 40, you have, more than likely, figured out what you want to be when you grow up and, if you are not there yet, you are probably well on your way. Because you have established yourself in your career, you are probably a tad more confident in yourself than someone who is younger.

The problem with dating over the age of 40 is finding a place to meet others like yourself. After all, at your age, you have probably outgrown the bar scene and going out dancing means that you are probably going to find singles that just seem too young for you. So what is the solution for those over 40? Online dating is often one of the best ways to meet others just like yourself.

If your first inclination is to dismiss the possibility of Internet dating, you would not be the only person of your age to do so. To you, online dating may seem desperate and for the younger crowd. The truth is, however, it offers a wide variety of advantages for you.

First, when you sign up for online dating, you get to see the person before you make a commitment to go out with them. Of course, you can also find out whether or not that person partakes in particular habits you find repulsive, such as smoking or drinking. Nothing could be worse than to meet someone and think you could have a dating future, only to find out they have a bad habit you simply can not deal with. Online dating lets you sort through these types of things, so that you can easily eliminate them without having to meet them.

You will also find that online dating can help you to get to know a person a little bit before you make plans to meet. If the person seems a little odd or simply not the type of person you would be interested in, you don’t have to worry about it, as you don’t have to meet them. Instead, you can quickly move on to the next possibility. It really is this simple.

Once you do find someone you wish to meet and the feeling is mutual, do not worry about the actual dating of this person. Nothing has changed beyond the fact that the Internet has made it much easier to meet people. As you are older and more experienced, you have learned a lot about people and what is important. Unlike the younger generation, your concerns go past the superficial and you have discovered what is important to you.

Anyone in the dating for the over 40 crowd should not just consider online dating to meet their “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right”. They should look to it as a chance to further their dating experience and, at the same time, give themselves a chance to meet some interesting people and have fun. After all, your over 40, confident, and you know what you want.

Before the rambling begins, take a minute to think about it. Read through other profiles first and make notes about the things that stood out, and whether or not those things had a positive impact or a negative one. It is important to keep in mind that what you write in your profile not only sends a message about who you are, but it will also determine who you will attract.

There are several red flags to watch out for when creating the perfect profile. For instance, watch out for the use of negative words or phrases, such as “will not”, “do not”, “never”, “hate”, etc. Common sense should tell you not to say things like, “I do not want any drama, or someone who lies and cheats.” This should be a given. Have you ever seen a profile in which someone IS looking for a person who does these things? No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who lies and/or cheats. There is no need to state the obvious. Along the same lines, it is not a good idea to write about past relationships, or the reasons why the last relationship ended. Again, it should be obvious, but trash talking an ex will not get a positive response. You do not want the first impression to be negative in any way.

If, by chance, there is a part of your life or lifestyle that may be viewed as negative, keep in mind that you can use creative language to put a positive spin on the situation while remaining truthful. For example, if you live with your parents, perhaps say that you are currently living with two roommates. If nothing else, you should get points for having a sense of humor. If you do not have a job, it could be said that you are in the process of making a career change. A creative way to spin the fact that you do not have a car would be to say that you have gone ‘green’, so to speak, and doing your part to save the environment.

Let’s face it. There are certain crucial things that everyone wants to know about a potential mate before investing any real effort into starting a relationship. Jobs, finances, children, living situation, cars, addictions, criminal record, etc. are just the tip of the dating iceberg. You do not want to be too vague, but at the same time, it is important to create some mystery by not divulging too many details.

You are marketing yourself with the dating profile. You want to generate enough interest to initiate a date request. Leave them wanting to know more. Throw in that you have a unique hobby, but that only those close to you know what it is. Or, one strategy that seems to work well is to include some sort of trivia question in the profile somewhere. Quote a movie, and suggest that anyone who can name the movie will get to pick the restaurant where you will meet for your first date. Whatever you decide to write in your profile, keep in mind that you should be as specific about yourself as the type of person you are hoping to meet.